Superloner

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 24

2007-12-24T00:14:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl and Twilight Turtle came back to the Palace of the Frozen Tears. They hadn't found any treasures; not one shiny packet of happiness, not even a cheap copy of Paul Glee for Fawn Dianthus. Therefore they were surprised to see that the whole house was in a hullabaloo of merriment and laughter. There they were all, all the buoyant spirits, waiting for the yule goat to arrive. Eiseemi Laxi was watching the advanced pontius pilates workout dvd with his new friend Weissepepper. Even the ponies of the tally-ho of the Truffle-players were there, enjoying of Ella Salmon's tasty pastries. What was in the fox's box? Well, you will find it out, eventually.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Superlong Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 23

2007-12-23T00:29:00.000+02:00

They were already walking across their home street when they passed by James Pond.
He hadn't seen any joy either.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 22

2007-12-22T00:40:00.002+02:00

It was dawning already, but they still hadn't catched the escaped joy.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 21

2007-12-21T00:19:00.001+02:00

Sadly, on their way back, they lost the man in Catmandu.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 20

2007-12-20T00:08:00.000+02:00

The journey through the Sillycon Valley was bit shivery at first, but they soon got used to it.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 19

2007-12-19T00:48:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: That sailor must surely the happiest person I have ever seen.
Maybe he'll bring the joy back to the life of Fawn Dianthus.
Twilight Turtle: Yeah! Let's use the mansleighter!

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 18

2007-12-18T00:22:00.000+02:00

They breezed through the sea.

Twilight Turtle: Frankly, Stejar, I can't see which way my four winds hat is blowing today.
Stejar Strahl: You don't have one. Well, 18th is so roundabout day anyway. We might just watch some pathetic music when we're at sea.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 17

2007-12-17T00:12:00.000+02:00

After being far too long in the Baggy Eyesland Stejar Strahl and Twilight Turtle
arrived at New Zeeland.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 16

2007-12-16T00:21:00.001+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Chill out a bit, I want to get out of here as much as you do.
Let's just ask this gentleman where is the nearest earport.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 15

2007-12-15T00:09:00.000+02:00

Whilst escaping the superfluous smiles
they arrived at Eyesland.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 14

2007-12-14T00:06:00.000+02:00

There's nothing wrong with the eyes, laughed all the elves themselves.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 13

2007-12-13T01:31:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Twilight turtle! Did you just kill all the goblins?

Oh you poor hobs... look what big eyes you have.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 12

2007-12-12T00:17:00.000+02:00

Lost in the forest, they find a house made of candies with sugary windows, hobnob doors, brownie walls. Unable to resist, they begin to eat it.

Stejar Strahl: Oh, I'm so thirsty I would kill for a glass of sprite.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 11

2007-12-11T00:46:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Great. A replica santa in a fake bakery land.

Superlon Advent Calendar 2007 - Day 10

2007-12-10T00:26:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Ok, you heedless shell, you finally got the year right, but I said "Do you always have to think about a cup filled with sugar?"

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 1980 - Day 9

2007-12-09T01:53:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Let me guess. Everything you never ate in 1980 is stored here?

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 1972 - Day 8

2007-12-08T01:42:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Would you stop that jumping now, you twilight turtle tiddler!

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 1971 - Day 7

2007-12-07T01:36:00.001+02:00

Stejar Strahl: Now look what you did, you silly turtle!

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 2008 - Day 6

2007-12-06T00:58:00.000+02:00

Is there something wrong with this all, thought Stejar.

Stejar Strahl: Looks like you're older than you should be.
Miss Calculation 2007: Haven't noticed anything.

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 2008 - Day 5

2007-12-05T00:41:00.000+02:00

No, said she in the house of the bisyllabic pedantry. No.

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 2008 - Day 4

2007-12-04T00:22:00.000+02:00

Definitely not seen here, whispered the citizens of Puttoresque.

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 2008 - Day 3

2007-12-03T00:09:00.000+02:00

Nor had Mother Monday seen that.

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 2008 - Day 2

2007-12-02T12:15:00.000+02:00

It was not found from the bauble bath.

Superlon Mystery Advent Calendar 2008 - Day 1

2007-12-01T17:48:00.000+02:00

It was a dark December afternoon. Melancholy was everywhere in the northern wind when Stejar entered the Palace of the Frozen Tears.

Stejar Strahl: How can I help you Mrs Dianthus?
Fawn Dianthus: I've lost it!
Stejar Strahl: What exactly have you lost?
Fawn Dianthus: The Joy!
Stejar Strahl: The joy? Of what?
Fawn Dianthus: Of everything ... I had it right here just a moment ago. It was just there. I was eating the blossoms from the tree of the blessedness, drinking the nectar of the felicities and suddenly it was gone. Completely disappeared. You have to find it, please. You have to...

The ultimate consequence of the boring blog posts

2007-08-29T21:34:00.000+02:00

After the incident the ambulance driver Dandras Judge Tameron would be really ashamed and start using some pure natural olive oil capsules he would find from the street market. The lady, Loganberry Lib Log, who'd sell them would take the packet out of her bag so eloquently that Dandras wouldn't think of watching any other ladies bags after that. They would be married, Dandras would find a new job as a word cloud machine and she would take care of their baby called Big Born Log quite carelessly, because she would secretly start drinking dark beer and playing Internet games. That would be fine by him, until the day would come when he would have to create this word cloud:

After that nothing would be quite the same. Dandras would quit his job and start living in a trailer park. He would be called the Baron Gerbil Golly of the Trailer Park. He would sit inside and watch only the Kentucky Afraid Chicken Beauty Contest, broadcasted twice a year. His bones would be found years later. That wouldn't be nice, thought Stejar.

Mrs Pettersen's Bad Bun Day

2007-08-15T20:34:00.000+02:00

Of course there could be a small chance of Mrs Pettersen's tasty cinnamon bun being burnt in the oven. She would call her neighbour, because it was widely known that the neighbour's sister once had a hot relationship with a local zookeeper Jörgen Jansson who collects lamps and if he wouldn't know about badly burnt buns, who would?

Jörgen Jansson would love to come and see the oven immediately, because he was secretly admiring Mr Pettersen's huge collection of oven gloves, which were in a mint condition. But before he would reach his destination, the tyres of his car would explode, because one slightly desperate telephone marketing lady, Astrid Å, who just organised an unsuccessful Victorian age-styled hip-hop night in the village hall, would be driven over by him, before they even had a chance to meet, which was a shame, because they would have been a lovely couple.

An ambulance driver called Dandras Judge Tameron would try to give a kiss of life to Astrid Å, but he would forget his strictly hidden unnatural powers and turn her into a midget living in the bottle, which would be then thrown far away to the bushes. Few days later she would be found by a local teacher's terrier, which would love her to pieces.

So yes, that wouldn't definitely be a good idea at all.

It takes two to bingo

2007-07-08T22:08:00.000+02:00

Then again, thought Stejar, if there'd be a pobbit called, lets say, Pop, he would have a sister called Crackle and yet another one named as Snap. Especially she could be a vicious one and lock poor Pop inside a flower press. Little pobbit would look like totally different and his mother wouldn't recognize him.
So he would spend his life alone, inside a vitrine in some distant museum shown as, lets say, the world's only speaking lottery token. There he would be, shouting vigorously I'm not a speaking lottery token, I'm a pobbit!, but nobody would care and a tourist called Jörgen Pettersen would just smile and take a photo and show it to his neighbours and say look how cute speaking lottery token we saw in the distant museum far away and they would all smile and nod, but nobody would remember what the photo was all about after Mrs Pettersen's tasty cinnamon bun. So, better not to breed ponies and rabbits after all.

Ich bin hier mit dem Kugeln gekommen, herr Artzpraktis.

2007-07-03T21:11:00.000+02:00

Whilst spending six days in an Ontologischen Klinik all he could think of was if a mixture of a pony and a rabbit would be called a pobbit.

I bet he's got the world locked up inside a plastic box

2007-03-16T22:13:00.000+02:00

Mr Koi: Welcome to the Pond of Confessions. I am Mr Koi, friend of yours, friend of carps. My motto is: To tell us or not Tellus, that isn't a problem, if you just pay.
Eiseemi Laxi: I was actually just looking for my friend... what is this place anyway?
Mr Koi: This is PC. The Pond of Confessions. Your friend might have been here already, so what are you waiting for? Tell us a confession.

Eiseemi Laxi: I was the dancing banana in a TV advertisement. They paid me a half a kilo of cheap cheese and I didn't want to complain, because the boss knew I secretly practised naked smileys in front of the mirror.
And every night after Stejar has fallen asleep, I go hiding under the bed and eat liquorice with fish.
Mr Koi: Well, yes, most of our customers have made a confession like
"I used my cousin's soap when she was on holiday", but...

Eiseemi Laxi: Stejar...
I wonder where he is now. Last time I saw him, he said something weird, about walknots and when I opened my eyes he had walked away anyway. I wanted to tell him about the wooden egg I found from the freezer.
Mr Koi: You found a frozen wooden egg?
Are you sure it wasn't any Fat-Free Cholesterol Free Frozen Egg Substitute?
Eiseemi Laxi:Yes. I tried to boil it.
Mr Koi: Oh! Do you see that door at the bottom? Swim down there and click it.

Superlon Mystery: Raisin' Brain

2007-03-10T19:35:00.000+02:00

Darleen Shuffle: The Sultana 3001 will ask you some questions now, Mr Strahl.

Sultana 3001: Most mornings, you get up at...?
Stejar Strahl: Death settles sleep debts.
Sultana 3001: What's the best way to start a conversation with a cute stranger?
Stejar Strahl: There will surely be some noise, when two madmen come together.
Sultana 3001: Which is not a way to introduce yourself?
Stejar Strahl: There's is no use crying when the crap is already in your pants.
Sultana 3001: How do you feel about the beach?
Stejar Strahl: A cat would eat the fish, but not be ready to wet its paws.
Sultana 3001: Mother?
Stejar Strahl: Don't cry, ugly child, tomorrow we'll buy you a mask.
Sultana 3001: Father?
Stejar Strahl: Disappears like a fart into Sahara.

Darleen Shuffle: Most interesting. I think all we can do now is to put you inside the Borromean grapefruit.

When you have finished your reading, click my face.
Yes, you there.
Click it.

Superlon Mystery: They're coming to shake you away, ha-haa!

2007-03-04T20:59:00.000+02:00

Stejar Strahl: I had a really strange dream last night.
There was a nocturnal frog dressed as an angel singing in my brain and telling me I was an advent calendar.
Dr B. Glistens: What did the carol say to you?
Stejar Stahl: Who?
Dr B. Glistens: Oo-hoo, was it singing See My Way?
Stejar Strahl: No, but I feel like a giant eye would stare at me.
Dr B. Glistens: I'm all ears.
Stejar Strahl: In that dream I opened my eyes and all the walls were missing around the diving elves.
Dr B. Glistens: Yet another sick in the hall...
I believe we have to do a full operation here.
Secretary Darleen Sufflé will tell you which grapemobile to take.

Teflon Christmas Calendar 2006

2007-03-04T18:18:00.000+02:00

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Teflon Twenty
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Teflon Prevue

2007-03-04T14:54:00.000+02:00

How to Use Superlon

2007-03-04T14:11:00.000+02:00

Somewhere here hidden is the video: It's light. It's dust free. It's elastic. It's easy to cut and glue!

The Complete Superlon 1

2007-03-04T14:05:00.000+02:00

1. Mystery in the village of Superlon
2. Stik's sticky pony
3. Ponyroyal Tea
4. Ne stickers, ne sweets
5. Smells like green spirit

6. Snoop, foggy frog!
7. Hey-hey, are you ready to play? It's time to come and play with the Reindeers!
8. Kimi Kimi Kimi the man of sunny midnight
9. Pet shop Bobs
10. Limp My Ride

11. Superlonian homesick blues in Pandalanda
12. He Still Hasn't Found What He's Cooking For...
13. Sherry Blossom Whirl
13 ½ Sleepless in Superlon
13 ¾ Superlonian Pastorale

14. Strokeback fountain
15. They want you, they want you in the gravy
16. Not my cup of pea
Xmas Superlon Christmas Special
17.Where do we go now but Superlon
18. It's a small pearl after all

19. Their World Is Full Of Smashing Bores
20. Ultimo tango a Superlonigi
21. No Stejar, oh why
22. We're just two lost moles swimming in the fish soul
23. Wife is a lemon and I want my honey back
24. Under the fridge